• Jamie McCarthy

Com-position Diary (10.08.18) - 'Refuge' and 'As We Await the Return of the Light'.

Updated: Jun 17, 2020

10th August 2018.

Today I really had to drag myself back to Refuge. And once I had done I felt like I should just give up on it. Interesting how that comes and goes – that feeling that it’s not going anywhere or coming to anything. I go from nodules of feeling fine about it and then there are many, many interim stages where I lose a handle on it or can’t hear it anymore. It’s not like that internet meme where the ‘what the fuck?’ thing happens just the once in the middle. It keeps coming back to bite you! I think it’s when I think I’ve got it more or less finished and then the ‘finishing’ I’ve done just leads me to the next revision. It’s actually things progressing, but it feels like a step backward because I felt like I was close to the end and then I realise I’m not. It’s all about projecting into the future rather than simply being with the work.

I think I have to work out how these pieces want to be listened to, before I can sort out what’s not working in them.

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