Search
  • Jamie McCarthy

My Real Fake Voice.

18th April 2020.

It changes depending on who I’m talking to

I change it

Even when I try not to

There’s my London voice

My a-bit-scouse’ish voice

My posh middle-class-culture voice

My imitating my Irish parents voice ...

When I make a conscious effort not to change it

In different situations

With different people

It feels fake

I use my London voice in the posh middle class arts place

And it feels like I’m playing a character

Or making a point

The voice I have with my neighbours seems like it’s in quotes in that environment

Because I can speak 'like I belong' if I choose to

If I used my posh voice with my neighbours

I would feel like a dick

(They probably think I sound posh anyway)

My Irish Mum

Was very picky about how we spoke

‘It’s not ‘ouse and ‘air and ‘at

It’s house and hair and hat’

Us kids heard that a lot from her

(The rest of the family called her 'the Lady Mary’)

I went to Grammar School

Heard the ways in which where I came from were laughed at as thick and common

Without realising it my accent changed when I was there

And then again, when I went to college

People would say things like:

‘Oh, I thought you were the eccentric son of a rich businessman’

Intelligent

Speaks posh

Can’t be the son of a nursing assistant and a labourer

There’s a split

My ‘eccentric son of ...’ voice

And my ‘grew up on a council estate, still lives on a council estate voice’

I grew up singing Irish songs in an Irish accent

Or as close as I could get

Until I realised that wasn’t my voice

I was borrowing it

Had no right to it

But I can't sing those songs in an English accent

At weddings and funerals

The Irish son-of on-loan voice rises from my throat

It slips out easy

It’s my fake voice

It feels like it belongs to me

3 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Refuse to Be Cut Down to Size.

13th August 2020 My friend Tammy Arjona reposted these words I’d posted on 11th August 2015. I’d forgotten about them. Refuse to be cut down to size Refuse to have your irregular edges shaved off So y

A Tale of Lockdown Lack of Perspective.

9th July 2020. I've been working on a new album on and off for the last year and a half. During lockdown I've been working solidly on mixing one of the tracks for weeks now. I've found it really stres

Pride 2020.

PRIDE 2020. 28th June 2020. Yesterday, on the recommendation of my friend Miguel I watched a programme called 'Disclosure' on Netflix. It's about the representation over the years of trans people in f